On Friday November 13 at around 1:30 a.m. Japan Time, I found Shiro lying on her side under her favorite big wheel in the green cage. When I touched her, she was cold and didn't respond at all. I thought she was dead, but Hero Material said she was still breathing.

He took her out of the cage and held her gently between his hands. They're almost always warmer than mine, and we thought maybe if we could make her warm again, she'd be okay.

After all, that courageous hamster had fought and won against many illnesses.

I still remember the first time I saw her in a local pet store. She was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen: pure white except for the soft velvety gray ear tips and gorgeous sparkling black eyes. She lived in a small glass cage with Kuro. We were initially going to get only one hamster, but I thought maybe she'd be lonely by herself. So we bought Kuro as well.

They were my first pets. That night as they were playing in their new cage with a wheel (their old one didn't have one) I couldn't take my eyes off of them. They were hilarious, active and utterly adorable. I was in love.

Subsequent discovery that Kuro is a male hamster shocked me — he was supposed to be a she! — but Shiro and Kuro got along so well I didn't have the heart to return him to the pet shop. Nor did Hero Material. We kept them both. Shiro delivered her first litter: Peanut and Buttercup.

Then a disease ravaged her small body. It was a diarrhea caused by some parasites. I don't know how she got it, but it destroyed her appetite on top of everything else. She refused to eat her favorite food — green veggies, nuts, seeds, etc. At one point, her weight dropped all the way from 55 grams to 17 grams. When she collapsed on her side, we thought this was it…until she jumped back up.

She never made a full recovery — the diarrhea never stopped even though her weight reached around 36 grams. That's still very small for a hamster. Her mate Kuro weighs around 50-55 grams.

Small or not, sick or not, she was a fierce mother. I remember the time when I decided to clean her cage after she had her second litter. It was getting very stinky, and her babies were old enough that I could clean her cage without turning her against them. When she realized that her babies were exposed to some alien presence, she gathered them together and covered them with her own body, while giving me the death glare.

She always gave her affection to us generously. When I put my hand near her, she placed her paw on my fingertip and said her little hamster hello. She nose-kissed Hero Material many times, and she loved the attention she got from us.

So as she lay cold on Hero Material's palm, we took Kuro out, so they could say good bye. He groomed her cold blue belly and petted her a little.

I don't know how long we held her. I started to feel anxious because I saw blood where she'd lain down. She had no wound or open cut on her, and because where the stain was, she'd probably vomited the blood before we found her.

Finally when her paws started twitching and her whispers flickered, we thought maybe…maybe she'd come back to us just like she'd done many times before. However, it turned out to be her last breath.

Most winter white hamsters live for 2-3 years. She was only one year old.

We placed a big cashew nut between her forepaws. Cashews were her favorite food in the whole world. We didn't want her to be hungry. Then we wrapped her in a long swath of scentless white tissue. It was her favorite thing to make nests with. We wanted her to have something she liked so she can make a home for herself. Then we placed her in a white box in which our wedding ring came and buried her under a beautiful willow tree by the river, so every time we walk by, we can say hello. So that she knows she'll always be remembered and loved.

Farewell, Shiro.

I've been a bit distracted with several things.

First — I came down with a cold. (I still have it, although it's not as bad as it used to be.) Hero Material got it first, then lovingly gave it to me. I think he called it “early Christmas present”. Hmmm. But he paid for the doctor's visit and medicine, so I guess all's forgiven.

Second — I decided to do NaNo. Well, technically I'm not working on a novel from scratch, but more like trying to finish Acts 2-4. I've written like tons of different pre-drafts and scenes and snippets, but none of them really gelled or gave me any insight into my characters. Hence NaNo.

Scarily enough I'm writing many of my scenes out of order right now. I've never jumped back and forth like that, but with WriteWayPro it's easy to rearrange scenes, etc. So I'm giving myself permission to write later scenes first. Once I got over the initial resistance, I realized that it was actually helpful for me to do it. I can see better why Angel and Mikhail fell in love in the first place and why they thought it couldn't work, etc., and why they broke up but why they're together again now, etc. etc. etc.

BTW — is it wrong for me to like the ruthless Russian mafia boss more than the U.S. bureaucrats in my story?

Third — My netbook is having the same issue it did last time. It's been, like, a week since Samsung fixed it. They took it back — again, very courteous and apologetic. So I'm without a netbook for another week or two until they repair it. (Hopefully permanently…)

Fourth — I reformatted my Macbook this week. I use Apple Boot Camp to use XP on it — that's my preferred OS; the Mac OS just does not feel very intuitive to me — but BCXP refused to shut down correctly for two weeks in a row. It's partially my fault for having installed all kinds of stupid programs that I shouldn't have in the first place. (And the fact that when I first created the HD partitions and so on I think I did something wrong b/c the driver installations, etc. didn't go very smoothly…)

Anyway, 30 hours later, it's done, and my computer's faster. Yay. :)

Fifth — Hero Material and I started on another drama series: Dexter. It's just so twisted, I love it! We're still on the first season. Can't wait to watch the rest.

Finally — the Olympic season!!!!! I'm a huge fan of figure skating (have been since Kristi Yamaguchi's heyday), and I've watched the first Grand Prix events. Yuna Kim rocks my world, and I'm so thrilled to see Shen and Zhao skate again. Shen and Zhao are my sentimental favorite in pairs, and I want them to achieve their dream of winning the Olympic gold medal. It'll be a first for China.

I'm also rooting for Yuna since I adore her skating, and it too will be the first Olympic figure skating medal for Korea.

OTOH — I'm heart-broken about Mao Asada. She's just imploded this season. I don't even know if she can make it to the Grand Prix Final, and it won't be the same without her. I have my own theories on why she's not doing so well this season based on the media coverage. Gambatte, Mao!

Oh and if you're wondering why I don't seem all that interested in Evegeny Plushenko's comeback…well, it's because I don't think he's all that exciting to watch. I mean, yeah, his jumps are great and he can do some interesting footwork, but something about his skating just leaves me cold. I also suppose it's because I still long for Alexei Yagudin's awesomeness — great jumps, great footwork, superb artistry. Unless he messes up unbelievably, I think Plushy will win the gold medal. Brian Joubert's been incredibly unprepared and erratic at Trophee Eric Bompard, and Oda can't seem to land quad jumps consistently. Evan…well, he reminds me of Todd Eldridge — another dull dull skater.

As for why I don't care about Sasha Cohen's comeback…well, I'll believe when I see it. I think it's nothing more than a publicity stunt on her part, especially since all Sasha seems to talk about is her “injuries”. If she does show up at Skate America, Yuna will crush her, and maybe even someone like Rachael Flatt and Fumie Suguri may be able to beat her.

My prediction? Sasha withdraws from Skate America, shows up at the U.S. Nationals and gets a spot on the Olympic team. The international judges are brutal, and with the more severe crackdown on underrotations and wrong edges, Sasha won't do very well. But American judges at the Nationals will most likely overscore her. I hope Sasha proves me wrong, but I'm not very optimistic.

How about you? How have you been doing? Any cool plans? Are you excited about the Vancouver Olympic Games?