status: I’m almost done with the first major turning point in my story. W00t. :)
In other words, do you go with the flow or plan your writing career?
I’ve always been a rower. I’ve always set goals and went for them. But this year I’ve lost track of that. I’ve drifted, letting the currents take me where they may for months.
The biggest part of it was numerous disappointments I’ve had. They cut me deeper than the rejections I’ve received during my initial agent hunting phase. Perhaps I’ve had unrealistic expectations. Perhaps I’ve failed to insulate myself properly. These things have taken toll on my creativity. It’s harder to write, harder to think and harder to stay focused. The more I obsess about the past disappointments, the more impossible it is to do what I needed to do.
If I don’t row my boat, it’s going to go wherever the currents go. Unfortunately the currents don’t care about me. I do.
Now I’m focusing on small things that I can control. I’m learning how to control my pain (physical and mental), how to insulate myself to protect my Muse, yet at the same time how to relax and laugh at myself and have fun. Life is too short to wallow in misery. Though I’ve wasted a lot of time drifting, I want to grow tougher and prepare myself for whatever insanity life may throw at me in the future. Isn’t that all anyone can do?